I Really Should...

...dedicate an entire gallery for my nephew. I enjoy taking pictures of him and, at the same time, perfecting my photography skills.



Picture taken by yours truly, using my (sister's) Sony CyberShot DSC-S40. Roxas District, Quezon City. December 25, 2007.

Ako ang Eraser Mo

Ang sarap magsulat ano? Lahat ng naisin mong isulat ay naisusulat mo, at lahat na ng pwedeng pagsulatan mo ay napagsulatan mo na. Papel, pader, sahig, dahon ng saging, tissue paper - lahat ito ay naging biktima na ng pagnanais mo na mailahad ang nadarama mo.

Mangilan-ngilang beses ka na ring nagkamali sa mga isinulat mo. at sa mga pagkakataong iyon, ako ang nasa tabi mo. Ako ang eraser mo. Tagapaglinis ng mga pagkakamali mo. Lahat ng pagkakamali mo, maliit man o malaki, ako ang naglinis. Andito lang ako sa tabi mo. Kailanman ay di ako nagreklamo, dahil trabaho ko talaga ang linisin ang pagkakamali mo. Sa katunayan, natutuwa ako kapag ginagamit mo na ako. Fulfilling para sa akin ang gamitin mo ako.

Kamakailan lamang ay nakita ko na ang tunay mong ugali. Enjoy ka sa paggamit ng panulat mo upang labanan ang kung sinong tao na minalas na makabangga mo sa landas ng buhay mo. Lahat ng maibubunyag mo, ibinunyag mo na. Ayos lang yun, sabi mo. Freedom of expression yan. May karapatan ang mamamayan na malaman ang lahat ng mga isinulat mo. Eh kaso, hindi na totoo ang ibang isinulat mo. Gumawa ka ng kontrobersya, para lang mapag-usapan ka. Nagkuwento ka na nang nagkuwento, na ang kinalabasan ay parang isang horror story na ang kinahantungan ay ang pagkamatay ng lahat ng mga kalahok sa istorya. Ok lang, sabi mo. Dapat lang siya ibagsak. Tanga siya dahil ikaw ang kinalaban niya. Lahat ay inimbento mo, para lang masira mo silang lahat.

Ang laki ng pinagbago mo. Noo'y masaya ka na kapag mailahad mo ang nadarama mo. Walang halong paninira sa kung sinong ponsyo pilato. Ngayo'y kahit sino ay titirahin mo, kahit na maling mali ang isinusulat mo, para lang maibenta mo ang panulat mo.

Ako ang eraser mo. Kaya kong linisin ang mga pagkakamali mo. Sana lang ay matauhan ka na at burahin na ang mga maling komento mo. Kaya ko lang linisin ang pagkakamali mo - hindi ko kayang gawin ito kung hindi mo nanaising linisin ang mga mali mo. Sana ay maging responsable ka sa mga isusulat mo - hindi ko kayang burahin ang mga paninira mo kung wala ang pagnanais mong burahin ang mga ito. Hindi ako diyos na makakagawa ng milagro. Eraser mo lang ako.

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A little something I wrote for Penster

My Furry Guardian Angel

Also seen at my gallery

Model: Albretch Iñigo G. Javate, and my stuffed Eeyore. Photo credits by yours truly. Taken using my (sister's) Sony Cybershot DSC-S40. August 2006.

An Open Letter to the One

Taking risks is a part of life - there's no getting around it. Without risks, life has less meaning. So anyway, here I am taking risks. I've postponed this for too long.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To the Brilliant, Shining One:

There are a lot of things I should've told you. Well, not really a lot of things, but maybe some stuff of substantive importance that I should have let you know before now. Mainly what I never did realize until now. I remember during the start of our third year together, how you were a bit taken with him. And what happened when he went for someone else. I never did realize during that time what I felt.

After that, I would find excuses to talk to you, even for the most trivial of things. Back then, I know I should have recognized the signs. I guess I never really recognized it because of what I thought your reaction would be if ever I did come out in the open with it. Or maybe because I was still perceived to be quite taken with another mutual friend who I happened to have courted in the past. Reasons don't matter - at least, not anymore. What matters is that finally I've realized something that my subconscious self has tried to bop me in the head with over the past two years - I've silently fallen for you.

Maybe it was your quiet strength. Maybe it was your uncommon grace. Maybe it was your intellect. Maybe it was the fact that you were able to poke fun at me. Maybe it was the siomai we ate way back. Maybe it was something I've never seen in another girl before. Maybe a lot of things - but one thing is for sure, I've fallen in love.

I'm not sure whether you'll ever be able to read this (I might just discreetly let you know). But whatever - that won't change the fact that I've already fallen hard.

With love always,

-=BSB=-

Damned

... if I'll just lie on my back waiting for an attack
... if I'll just let myself be fooled yet again
... if I'll just be on my defensive mode
... if I don't make an offensive
... if I won't do anything about it

And so it begins ...

Stupid Poetry

Damn I feel so stupid.
Stupid stupid stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.
Stupid for trusting you, stupid for believing you.
Stupid for even thinking I could trust you, when all others have lost their trust.
Stupid stupid stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.
Stupid for thinking you were what you weren't.
Stupid for seeing what you wanted me to see, not what I was seeing.
Stupid stupid stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.

All I know now is,
I will never be as stupid again.

Visual Poetry

Just something I made up since I got inspired by a sunset photograph my friend took in Bolinao... It's going to be part of my new project, which I hope to finish by next year.