Missing You

"...Like a cold summer afternoon / Like the snow coming down in June / Like a wedding without a groom / I'm missing you / I'm the desert without the sand / You're the woman without a man / I'm the ring without a hand / I'm missing you..." Case, Missing You

A lot's been happening to me, and yet nothing much has happened. Work, family, friends, my other work (which I hope I can improve on in order to replace my original line of work), and other stuff leaves me almost no time for resting, let alone blogging. Somehow, I miss a lot of the days when I was busy and yet having fun.

Case#1: school - Nowadays, I'd much rather be in school than at work. It's easier to remedy your mistakes in school than at work.

Case#2: school org - Yup. I had what I believe to be the most fun being in an org. Lots of pressure, but with very big rewards.

Well anyway, that's life. Cherish the memories of moments past, but don't delay in moving onward.

~~~~~~~~~~

I keep telling my folks at home that I don't have a steady girlfriend right now. Same with some of my other friends. Right now, I don't have time to go steady with a girl (wow, I'm beginning to sound old. Is the phrase "going steady" still being used nowadays?). Well, that plus the fact that I don't have much cash to spend on dates and movies and whatnot (I believe in going on dates only if you have enough money to spend). It's not like there aren't any girls whom I'd like to date. But I do miss the feeling of being in a relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~

I'm planning to take up photography lessons sometime in the next few weeks or so. Good thing I know an up-and-coming photographer with his own studio who's willing to teach me for free. Well, not exactly free, since we're partners in a business venture he came up to me with. But anyways, it sure beats going to photography school.

Techie Repression

I can't surf at home! My PC's in one of those days when you can't browse the web, a lot of things are going wrong with the system, and the system doesn't respond as fast as it used to. Well, I could still watch online episodes of Bleach at home, but it would take probably 45 minutes to 1 hour to watch a 23-minute episode, even with DSL. Darn it!

So here I am, making a shopping list for my PC. New hard drive, more memory, maybe a video card and a sound card, but my top priority right now would be the hard drive and the memory. Ubos na naman ang sweldo ko. Where's a pot of gold when you need one?

Hmmm... might as well buy a new PC. Or maybe a laptop. Maybe later, when I'm already earning twice as much as I do now.

Good Times

Watched Spiderman 3 yesterday with Trixie and Gheof. It was actually my bright idea to ask them to go to the movies, since it was Labor Day yesterday, so they had no work (unfortunately for me, it didn't apply to my work sked since it's during the US holidays that we don't have work). Anyway, we went to Gateway for the first movie screening. Lo and behold, a lot of other people apparently had the same idea, so the Gateway Cineplex was literally crawling with people intent on one thing: Spiderman 3.

Anyway, I digress. The movie was very good, but that's not the whole point. I enjoyed going out with my best buds from school, something that we've never done since college (actually, I've gone with Trixie to the movies, but it was just the two of us, so I don't think it should count). It was the same good thing, albeit a little more sosyal, as we obviously had more money to spend now than when we were in college. Coffee in Figaro, bookhunting at Fully Booked, movie watching at the Cineplex, late lunch at Cafe Ten Titas, searching for Haagen-Dazs ice cream and a bunch of chocolates at Rustan's - these were things we certainly couldn't have afforded back in college.

Isa na lang ang kulang: si Rheza. Were she here, I'm sure the whole movie bonding experience would have been much more enjoyable. Rheza, uwi na sa 'Pinas, dali!!!

(Stupid me, I forgot to bring a camera. Plus, my phone wasn't charged, so I wasn't able to take pictures.)

Picture taken by Gheof Hilario, using his Nokia 3230. Taken 1 May 2007 at Cafe Ten Titas, Third Floor, Gateway.

Ako ang Eraser Mo

Ang sarap magsulat ano? Lahat ng naisin mong isulat ay naisusulat mo, at lahat na ng pwedeng pagsulatan mo ay napagsulatan mo na. Papel, pader, sahig, dahon ng saging, tissue paper - lahat ito ay naging biktima na ng pagnanais mo na mailahad ang nadarama mo.

Mangilan-ngilang beses ka na ring nagkamali sa mga isinulat mo. at sa mga pagkakataong iyon, ako ang nasa tabi mo. Ako ang eraser mo. Tagapaglinis ng mga pagkakamali mo. Lahat ng pagkakamali mo, maliit man o malaki, ako ang naglinis. Andito lang ako sa tabi mo. Kailanman ay di ako nagreklamo, dahil trabaho ko talaga ang linisin ang pagkakamali mo. Sa katunayan, natutuwa ako kapag ginagamit mo na ako. Fulfilling para sa akin ang gamitin mo ako.

Kamakailan lamang ay nakita ko na ang tunay mong ugali. Enjoy ka sa paggamit ng panulat mo upang labanan ang kung sinong tao na minalas na makabangga mo sa landas ng buhay mo. Lahat ng maibubunyag mo, ibinunyag mo na. Ayos lang yun, sabi mo. Freedom of expression yan. May karapatan ang mamamayan na malaman ang lahat ng mga isinulat mo. Eh kaso, hindi na totoo ang ibang isinulat mo. Gumawa ka ng kontrobersya, para lang mapag-usapan ka. Nagkuwento ka na nang nagkuwento, na ang kinalabasan ay parang isang horror story na ang kinahantungan ay ang pagkamatay ng lahat ng mga kalahok sa istorya. Ok lang, sabi mo. Dapat lang siya ibagsak. Tanga siya dahil ikaw ang kinalaban niya. Lahat ay inimbento mo, para lang masira mo silang lahat.

Ang laki ng pinagbago mo. Noo'y masaya ka na kapag mailahad mo ang nadarama mo. Walang halong paninira sa kung sinong ponsyo pilato. Ngayo'y kahit sino ay titirahin mo, kahit na maling mali ang isinusulat mo, para lang maibenta mo ang panulat mo.

Ako ang eraser mo. Kaya kong linisin ang mga pagkakamali mo. Sana lang ay matauhan ka na at burahin na ang mga maling komento mo. Kaya ko lang linisin ang pagkakamali mo - hindi ko kayang gawin ito kung hindi mo nanaising linisin ang mga mali mo. Sana ay maging responsable ka sa mga isusulat mo - hindi ko kayang burahin ang mga paninira mo kung wala ang pagnanais mong burahin ang mga ito. Hindi ako diyos na makakagawa ng milagro. Eraser mo lang ako.

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A little something I wrote for Penster

Pichur!!!

I forgot when this picture was taken (and who took the picture, so unfortunately I can't give credit to whoever took it), but it would be approximately 5-6 years ago. As I mentioned to Gheof (who gave me this copy), "Ang payat ko pa!!!" But come to think of it, me, Gheof, and Anna were all slimmer back then. Dunno about Rheza though, since I haven't seen her in person in over 4 years.

This picture brought back a lot of memories of my early years in college. All four of us would attend classes and sit together almost always (Rheza was always a bit far from us because of our last names, and we were almost always arranged alphabetically), have lunch together, and be groupmates in projects and activities. Almost always, that is. I also remember hanging out at the botanical garden at this particular swing, where we would all review for quizzes, do homework, practice, and basically just goof around. That swing bore witness to a lot of activities in our school lives.

God, I miss those days.

WTF?!

I have quite a messy work environment. All I see is paper, paper, and more paper. Add a few boxes of - what else? - paper. Plus, when all the printers are being used, one would have to shout just to be heard above the cacophony of the old dot matrix printers. Nevertheless, I find it easier to work in that environment. I've read an article somewhere that a messy work environment acts as a natural reminder. Somehow I see the logic of that. For example, if you file every bit of paper neatly, more often than not it would go the way of the file-and-forget stuff. But if you just pile every scrap of paper somewhere on your desk (or on the floor surrounding your desk for that matter), while searching, you might come across something that you meant to take action on but for reasons unknown, you completely forgot about it. Plus, if you constantly keep your workplace neat and tidy, it means you spend too much time cleaning up than working. Of course, that doesn't mean that you have to be a slob, though.

My computer area at home is messy. Yup, I know. It doesn't fit in with the overall neatness of home. Still, I prefer to have my area that way. I don't want anybody cleaning up there, 'cause what happens is that, 99% of the time when somebody else cleans up, a lot of stuff goes missing. Program CDs, important scraps of paper, data cables - that sort of thing goes missing. Which is why I almost always get worked up trying to find them, especially when I need to use them, or need to get information out of them. I'd publish a photo of my computer area, but it's too messy for human eyes. Hehe.

I don't get to celebrate the long Holy Week vacation. I have to work until Good Friday morning. Sigh. I might not be able to purchase other stuff I need, since most of my sal- er, allowance - would be allocated for transportation. Another sigh.

Summer na!

Escape

It's been a while since I last posted. I haven't even had time to do my birthday post, but enough about my birthday. I never advertised my birthday to my new co-workers, so there. :P

Anyway, I've been thinking of doing lots of stuff I've never done before. The only hindrances that I could foresee would be funding and availability. Although right now funding is not a problem, since I'm getting paid quite a bit for my work. It's not as much compared to other people, but considering what I used to make from my last work, the sum is quite sizeable. So therefore my real problem would be availability.

So many hobbies to pursue, so little time. Damn. Such is the way of life. When will I escape this rat race?

Me as a Character in LOTR

Apparently there are a lot of name generators floating all around the web, telling people what their names would be were they characters in fiction. This is one such generator: http://www.myprecious.us/name_generator.php

Now, were I a character in the Lord of the Rings, I would be known as:

* Merebo 'the Small' Goatcloset , Ring-bearer (Hobbit)
* Sylla , King of the Noldor (Elf)
* Telin son of Rorin (Dwarf)
* Rynry King’s Archer (Human)
* Tharkûn , Lord of the West (Wizard)

...

Tumatanda na 'ko! Damn.

1] I crave more sleep, but end up getting less than what I'd hoped for.
2] Videogames rule my world I don't have time for games.
3] Spendaholic Budget freak; I'm much too worried about future repercussions of my spending money today
4] I don't enjoy partying as much as I used to. (Oh wait, I wasn't even a partyboy in my teens, so maybe that's just my nature)
5] Alak pa!!! Hic! Hic! Hic! I give up after three bottles of beer.

Oh wait a sec. I'm not even in my mid-20s, and yet here I am yammering away like an old geezer on Viagra. Jeez.

Drive

I've been learning how to drive these past few days. Well, I can certainly say I've improved a lot, since I can already drive myself to and from places (yay!), but I'm not a full-fledged driver yet. For one thing, I can't navigate well (yet) if I'm the one behind the wheel. It's one thing to point out every possible shortcut when you're in a taxi, and it's quite another to use the shortcuts as a newbie driver altogether. And another thing, I've been driving for four days, or a grand total of five hours. I still can't cut it as a driver (yet). Maybe in a few weeks, I'll be better than I am right now. Still, there's quite a long way to go.

"It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal. But lately I'm beginning to find I should be the one behind the wheel." - Incubus, Drive

It's Almost Official...

...My bum days are almost over once more. I've got about a week left before I start work. This will be the third company that I will be working for (if you include my OJT stint in college). Why almost? I haven't signed anything yet, so I still don't have anything concrete so far. If all goes well, maybe I could even get a chance to be assigned overseas. I'll just have to do my very best for this to happen.

In the meantime, if I do get in, some of my very-very-short-term-goals are:
* Buy belated Christmas presents for people to whom I've promised presents
* Treat my family to dinner (or lunch, whichever applies)
* Buy a new phone for myself - I've been eyeing the Nokia N93 phone, but I saw it would be too expensive for me, so I'm thinking of choosing either a Nokia N80, a MotoRazr, or a Dopod International P800W (if I could find one here in the country)
* Get a PS2 (still a questionable goal, as I don't think I would have time to play games often)
* Treat myself to a full service spa - aromatherapy, shiatsu, complimentary free iced tea, the works

"If your phone is too basic, too old, and too, well, crap (like mine), it's time to upgrade!" - Oli Pettigrew on Animax Asia's TechnoMax

The Year That Was...

It may be a bit too late to write about the past year, but hey - better late than never, right? Oh well, whatever.

2006 was the year when...
... I really enjoyed hanging out with my workmates, but not at the workplace
... I learned that sleep is very very important
... I regretted not sleeping in the afternoons when I was a kid
... I first stepped on the sandy shores of Puerto Galera
... I got transferred from campaign to campaign
... I got 15k in June, but spent almost all of it in about a week
... I got 16k in November, but spent all of it in about 2 weeks
... I saw a lot of friends come and go
... I finally got fed up and retired my TSR headset, and resolved to never wear one again
... I started (but never finished) dieting at least 10 times
... I first learned how to care for an infant
... I had less than 500 bucks in my wallet at Christmas
... I renewed old ties with some of my classmates
... I resurfaced as a Rock Ed volunteer, but due to financial constraints was unable to participate in a lot of the events
... I learned the real difference between love, infatuation, and lust
... I was out of blog action for at least 6 months
... I remained the only one of my siblings who can't drive a car
... I tried to put my energies into writing poetry, but the words just wouldn't come to me
... I learned that the best time to go to the movies is at the first screening
... I gradually increased my beer capacity from 3 bottles to 5 bottles
... I resolved to never drink gin without mixers again

That seems to sum up much of my 2006, though this doesn't cover all of my doings. Maybe this year would be better. Somehow, the next year always is.

Christmas

Pathetic 'no? It's 2:08am, December 25, and I'm not even partying. Well, actually - I haven't partied hard since, well, I don't even know when. Anyway, I'm not posting here to rant about anything at all. Ranting about anything can wait until the new year. So... Merry Christmas! Logging off till next year ;)

Options

In life, you don't get a lot of options. You could be a thumbsucking infant waiting for your mom to give you your baby formula (which you might not like the taste of, but you have to endure because that's the only one available). Or you could be a grammar school kid assigned to the seat behind the smelliest kid in class who does nothing but pick his nose all day long. Or you could be a bum, period. With no options whatsoever.

Well, that's how I used to see life then. Back then, it was always do this, and there's no OR to the bargain. As a programmer might say, it's not always a CASE:1,2,3... scenario. It might not even be an IF...THEN...ELSE scenario for that matter.

But enough with the rambling. I've had something which you might call an epiphany of sorts. It goes something like this. It might seem that you don't get a lot of options in life. It might also seem sometimes that you have no options whatsoever. But what we fail to realize is that there are lots of other options available. It's just up to us whether we choose to recognize these options or not. It's just like finding what's behind the door that is one door away from heaven. If your heart is closed, you will find nothing behind that door. But if your heart is open, you may find other people also searching for the door to heaven, so that you may search for the door to heaven together.

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While browsing through my other archives, I noticed this particular entry that I made three years ago:

"...My friends Gheoffrey and Rheza say I never look or seem worried about anything, not even a bit ruffled about anything that goes wrong. I know I seem like the laid-back sort, but I still am human. I worry, I panic, just like any other normal human being. I suffer from panic attacks and stress, I break out in hives, almost anything that falls short of a massive attack of the proverbial shakes. It's just that I try very hard to handle everything that comes my way. The question is, how long before I truly break down?"

Now, my question to myself is, do I still project that same aura of an unconcerned, laid-back person? I still worry about stuff that has happened or is yet to happen, that much I know. But can I still manage to project that particular aura? Or am I already non compos mentis and just not realizing it?

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To sleep early, or not to sleep early - that is the question (to me, that is).

Who Cleans Up After Spiderman? At Kung Anu-ano Pa...

(All English entry? All-Tagalog entry? Taglish entry? Oh well, bahala na.)

Spiderman roams the streets of New York in true swinger style, making full use of his webslinging abilities. Pero do we even stop to think kung sino ang naglilinis nun pagkatapos niyang gamitin ang web? Or does it dissolve into thin air kaya walang trace ng web ang makikita sa mga walls? Wow, magic.

Damn. I need physical exercise. Hindi lang sex (although mukhang kinakailangan ko na rin nyan para maka-focus na ako sa ibang mga bagay bukod dito), but physical exercise na may physical exertion, yung tipong pagpapawisan ka at nakakapag-pa-energize sa 'yo. Pero di ba sex also meets these two requirements? :P

Thinking is good mental stimulation, kaya kung hindi ka marunong mag-isip eh mabuti pa magtanim ka na lang ng kamote sa bukid. Ay teka... kakailanganin mo ring mag-isip pag magtatanim ka. Hehe. Pero it's also bad kung masyado kang nag-o-overthink sa mga bagay-bagay, baka mabaliw ka naman sa kakaisip ng lahat ng possible consequences ng pagtayo mo sa upuan mo matapos mong basahin ang entry na 'to.

Haay buhay talaga. Parang life. :P

Rock Ed Concert and Rockregalo!

Oct 15-16, 2006 -- TUMAYO TAYO!
UN Anti-Poverty Rock Ed Concert
Marikina Freedom Park
Concert starts at 4pm

Featuring: Radioactive Sago Project, UpdharmaDown, Juan Pablo Dream, Giniling Festival, Paramita, BrownMan Revival, and many many many more.

//

Dec 2, 2006 -- ROCKREGALO LAUNCH!

Free Concert/Christmas Gift Drive
Eastwood Main Circle
Concert Starts at 730pm

Featuring: Radioactive Sago Project, UpdharmaDown, JuanPabloDream, Giniling Festival, Outerhope, Paramita, Drip, and the list is growing... abangan...nag te-text pa kami ng mga mababait na bandang tutugtog nang pro-bono... hehehehe


Dec 8, 2006 ROCKREGALO @Gweilo's Makati
Featuring Radioactive Sago Project and more... (abangan)

Dec 9, 2006 ROCKREGALO @Aruba Metrowalk
Featuring 6CycleMind, ProteinShake, Paraluman and CallaLily

Dec 10, 2006 ROCK THE RILES 2006!
Performances @ 8 MRT Stations
Rock Ed Artists Gathering for Human Rights!

Dec 15, 2006 ROCKREGALO @Bagaberde, Pasig
Featuring Itchyworms, Salindiwa, Bagetsafonik, and more

Dec 16, 2006 ROCKREGALO @Aruba, Tomas Morato
JuanPablo Dream and more.... (abangan)

Dec 22, 2006 ROCKREGALO @BlueWave
Chicosci and more.....(abangan, inaayos pa...)

Help Bislig!

(entry taken from Joey's blog)

October 3, 2006. Bislig, Surigao del Sur. a massive fire ate up approximately 3000 households in the public market area of the seaside city of Bislig Surigao del Sur. Many of the affected are small scale merchants who live on the stores surrounding the public market, and fishermen who rely heavily on the public market for deals. This is the biggest fire in the history of the town, rendering around 15000 people homeless and with little supply of food. The town is still in shock. As of this writing, rescue and relief operations are being done to find the bodies of those trapped in the fire. The town depends on the public market for their daily supply of food, and with the market now gone, they will need every help they can get. Bislig is five hours away from Davao and Butuan.

Help can be of any form: clothes, food, utensils, medicines, cash etc. for those who can give please send your donations to Rockedphilippines and we will make sure these will reach the proper authorities in Bislig. Let us know how we can reach you for pick up of goods thru our email rockedphilippines@yahoo.com. For those who are giving cash donations you may send it to the rocked bank account: Bank of the Philippine Islands Loyola Katipunan QC Branch. bank account name: ROCK ED PROJECT . bank account # : 3080-0073-44. please send us an email with the details of your donation (amount, deposit number, date and time) so that we can give you back confirmations.

video footages by joe climaco found here: video1 video2 video3 video4 video5 video6

La di da...

Go USTE! Go USTE! Go USTE! Go go go go!
Go USTE! Go USTE! Go USTE! Go go go go!
Go USTE! Go USTE! Go USTE! Go go go go!

It's been a joy being able to shout these words again with pride. For the first time in 10 years, the UST Growling Tigers, under first time coach Pido Jarencio, won the UAAP seniors basketball crown against Ateneo de Manila. As they say, it's been a Cinderella story for a team with a 6-6 standing at the end of the regular season. Who knew that UST was gonna go from 6-6 to champions? Congratulations to my alma mater!

~~~~~

Donate old books to Rock Ed Philippines' Bookbigayan Night @ mag:net Katipunan on Monday, October 9, 2006. Stay for the concert at 9pm, featuring Salindiwa, Bagetsafonik, Cherry Cornflakes, Shifting Sand, etc.

Wow...

Almost one month has passed since I retired my TSR headset. Well, here I am still, enjoying(?) my one-month vacation from life's harsh realities. But still, life's realities are already starting to intrude in my existence. Gone are the days when 'having coffee' meant going to the nearest Starbucks chain to order my favorite Mocha Valencia frappuccino. Nowadays, 'having coffee' means opening a pack of Nescafe's finest 3-in-1. Sucks. Yeah, I know. And now, with my wallet screaming drought, hunger, despair, desolation (the list goes on and on), I begin to think. Maybe hanging up my TSR headset was too soon. After all, my wallet was at its straining point when I wore the headset. Hmmm. Whatever.

In other news, my nephew was deemed 'obese' by his pediatrician. Geez, obesity affects even the most innocent of people. And my nephew is already deemed obese at a mere 2 months. How obese, you might ask? Let's just say that his weight at 2 months old is the weight that any other 6-month old baby should have. There. And the verdict: milk at lesser intervals, and vitamins every other day or so instead of every day. Geez, dieting at 2 months old? Almost unheard of.

I went to Eastwood last Saturday on a 'date' with Trixie. Suffice to say that we spent 2 hours talking about stuff over frappuccinos and hot tea at Starbucks, then 2 hours of watching "John Tucker Must Die" (where she learned that getting even isn't all it's hyped up to be), and 2 more hours talking about more stuff over pasta, pastries, iced tea, and a chai latte at Gloria Jean's (everything, of course, was her treat, but don't get the idea that I forced her at gunpoint to do so - everything was voluntary on her part, I think).

With nothing else to be said, I bid thee farewell.

My Furry Guardian Angel

Also seen at my gallery

Model: Albretch Iñigo G. Javate, and my stuffed Eeyore. Photo credits by yours truly. Taken using my (sister's) Sony Cybershot DSC-S40. August 2006.